Bless all of you for your kind words and shared experiences. I am holding my head a bit higher today because of them!
To answer some of your questions:
I do not know exactly what it was that caused me to bomb. Perhaps it WAS planetary alignment. Nothing was different from other auditions I have done before where I kept my cool.
As far as what specifically went badly, that's a great question. It was totally an anxiety problem which went way out of control, causing all of the other things I did not do well to happen. The discouraging thing is that have come so far in that area and this was a big disappointment. But I am moving on!
And as far as being afraid of my next lesson, I do not fear my teacher, I just don't want to go because I am embarassed!!!! My lesson is in the morning (in 5 hours) and I still have not been able to sleep. But that is my issue, not caused by my teacher who so far has been wonderful and supportive and brilliant.
I have tried and tried to analyze the root of my poor performance, and although there could be 100 reasons, I wish to discuss one in particular, which is detailed in my next post. I am planning a career change from music! Let's chat!
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