I don't really get jealous. But I do often turn my negative feelings inward and regret being too immature, too unfocussed, too lazy, and too many other things (none good) to have decided on a singing career when I was 17 (I talked about it a lot, but had no will-power to do much about it). I regret this, and I will always regret it, and no amount of doing well and enjoying singing now (in my second blush) can change that regret. I am plagued by "if only" and I tend to really dislike the person I was when I was younger because I wasted so much time being unfocussed and just "being" rather than doing.
I don't let these feelings cripple me, or even depress me (much) - but I do acknowledge that I can't escape them, so it's a waste of effort to try.
Fortunately, I do believe in reincarnation, so I have the consolation of the possibility that I won't screw up my youth so badly in my next life.
KM ----- Ich singe, wie der Vogel singt, Der in den Zweigen wohnet; Das Lied, das aus der Kehle dringt, Ist Lohn, der reichlich lohnet. -- J.W. von Goethe, WILHELM MEISTER
My NEIL SHICOFF Website: http://www.radix.net/~dalila/shicoff/shicoff.html
My Website: http://www.radix.net/~dalila/index.html
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