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From:  "Elizabeth Finkler" <mightymezzo@h...>
Date:  Wed Aug 2, 2000  11:21 pm
Subject:  HUMOR: Symphony Survivor


From my sister Margaret the horn player (Boston Conservatory of Music,
1983).

Liz

-------------------------

Story from the Boston Herald July 20.

Absolutely priceless.

Margaret


http://www.bostonherald.com/entertainment/arts_culture/clas07202000.htm


Ten men, locked in Symphony Hall. Nine will be snuffed out.
Only one will be left holding the baton. You've just tuned
into ...Symphony Survivor
by T.J. Medrek

Thursday, July 20, 2000

Imagine that the search for a successor to Seiji Ozawa was an open
process. Imagine that so-called reality TV could bring into your living room
all the drama of making the choice of a new music director for the Boston
Symphony Orchestra. Imagine...

It's Episode One of WGBH-TV's new reality show, ``Symphony Survivor.''
Ten conductors, armed with nothing more than the white-tie-and-tails on
their backs, their batons and their cell phones, are about to be locked
inside Symphony Hall for nine weeks.

Each week one maestro will be given the boot by a vote of his fellow
contenders. When only two are left, those kicked off decide who stays
and who goes.

``We weren't satisfied with our selection committee's closed-door
negotiations,'' says BSO Managing Director Mark Volpe in an opening
segment, ``so we decided to open up the process. Then when Channel 2
came to us for help with developing a reality show of its own, the Seiji
search just suddenly seemed, well, made for TV.''

Naturally, ``Symphony Survivor'' comes complete with 'GBH fund-raising
pitches. ``I Survived Symphony'' T-shirts, baseball caps and mugs are
offered as premiums. ``Hey, it worked for CBS,'' said a 'GBH staffer who
asked not to be named.

As the program opens, the contenders arrive and set up their makeshift
living quarters, sponsored by Fidelity Investments, on the Symphony Hall
stage, as ``Symphony Survivor'' host Keith Lockhart explains the
immunity challenge rules.

``Each week, before you vote one of your colleagues out, there'll be a
test of wits,'' Lockhart says. ``The winner gets immunity from being
voted out that week.''

``Will the challenges all be musical, or will other skills be tested?'' asks
contestant James Levine.

``Actually, none of them involve music,'' Lockhart says. There are sighs of
relief all around.

``This isn't really about music at all,'' Lockhart continues. ``It's about
fund-raising potential, recording contracts, image. Money, basically.''

``Sounds interesting!'' conductor Christoph Eschenbach says. ``What's
this week's challenge?''

``I'm glad you asked,'' Lockhart says, as today's lunch, lobsters courtesy
of the NEC Corp., arrives. ``Your challenge this week is to use your clout
to get a contract from a major label to record the complete Beethoven
symphonies.''

``But BMG Classical, or RCA, or whatever it is now just dropped me from
its roster,'' Michael Tilson Thomas says.

``Look, nobody in America's got a long-term orchestral commitment from
a big commercial label like RCA - except me and the Boston Pops, of
course,'' says Lockhart. The contestants glower.

James Conlon raises his hand. ``So, what you're saying is, it doesn't
really matter who's the best, the most artistically appropriate man for the
job,'' he says. ``It's all about the business stuff.''

``Exactly,'' Lockhart says.

Tilson Thomas asks the question that's been on everyone's mind:
``What's Simon Rattle doing here, anyway? I thought he was going to
the Berlin Philharmonic?''

``Just covering all bases, mate,'' says Rattle. ``I haven't signed that
bloody Berlin contract yet.''

It's now the end of the week, the first day of reckoning. It took Levine
less than 48 hours to win the immunity challenge, lining up a Beethoven
series with his Metropolitan Opera Orchestra on the DG label - in spite of
its parent company's recent sale. (``Trust me, this one's gonna be big,''
Levine's agent told them. ``You can never have too many Beethoven
symphonies, right?'')

Since then, Levine has been busy forming an alliance with three other
contenders: Eschenbach, Charles Dutoit and Mariss Jansons. As they
meet over sushi courtesy of Sony, the four decide who to vote out
tonight. It's not long before they pick their first target: Conlon.

``Are you all ready to cast your votes during tonight's Conductors'
Council?'' asks Lockhart.

Eschenbach looks down and shakes his head. ``This is so hard,'' he says.
``We all admire each other so much. How can we vote to banish a friend?''

All nod with apparent sincerity. Levine puts his arm around Jansons and
whispers something in his ear.

With that, it's time to vote, by secret ballot. There are two votes for
Essa-Pekka Salonen, two for Roberto Abbado, one for Dutoit, one for
Tilson Thomas - and four for Conlon.

Conlon looks shocked as Lockhart takes away his baton and leads him to
the exit door. Meanwhile, the members of the alliance are staring at
Rattle. Will he be the next to go?

NEXT WEEK ON ``SYMPHONY SURVIVOR'': With the alliance plotting
against him, Rattle tries to build a coalition of his own. A personal
revelation adds a mysterious element to the competition. And a new
immunity challenge has the conductors scrambling to calculate their
previous year's income in German marks.


Elizabeth Finkler
http://home.earthlink.net/~mightymezzo/
mightymezzo@h...

I think gasoline should cost 49 cents a gallon. No, darn it, make that 29
cents a gallon! Also the gas-station attendants should pump it for you. And
when you get home, you should be able to watch Milton Berle on your Philco
TV. --Dave Barry

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