Janis I want to tell you to not feel bad, but being that we singers overly critical of our own voices, I know that it's hard to do. I remember when I had my first solo at the university I was attending. It was the first semester of my freshman year, and the chamber choir was going to be performing "Four Saints in Three Acts". At first I was just singing the chorus parts like most freshman; however when the conductor discovered that one of the tenor soloists (((who wasn't really a tenor, more like a bari-tenor))) couldn't hit all the high notes in this one part, he decided to divide the solo, he would take the low part, and I took this higher part. The high part sat between the middle C, and the tenor high C. Well this wasn't a problem for me because that was my middle range ((I'm a countertenor)).
Anyway to make a long story short, I worked really hard to get it as close to perfect as I could. But the night of the performance my allergies were doing overtime, and it took a toll on my voice. After I sang my little part, I just wanted to walk right off of the risers and cry. I thought that I was horrible because I knew that I knew I wasn't singing to fullest potential. I was very depressed for days & days after. Everyone said that I was good, but I knew I could have done it better. I wanted everyone to be blown away by the new freshman countertenor. After I went over my performance in my head a 1000 times, I came to this conclusion; most of the people in the audience weren't singers, and probably didn't notice anything. Hey the were impressed that I had the balls to get up and sing in front of an entire audience. And I know that they were not die hard opera fans, because if they were, they would not have been telling me how good I sounded. They would have noticed the mess up.
So my advise is to take this performance with you, and learn from it. If nerves is your problem, then next time you will know that you have to find it in yourself to try and calm down (not always easy, but not impossible). Also, try to never forget your technique. When your onstage, and having problems singing, revert back to your technique. If it's a good technique, most likely it will save you. Cheer up, I'm sure there will be other gigs, and I'm sure you will perform to your fullest potential.
Best Wishes,
Kenneth Ealy Primo Uomo
"An opera begins long before the curtain goes up, and ends long after it has come down. It starts in my imagination, it becomes my life, and it stays part of my life long after I've left the opera house." Maria Callas
|
| |