3) They give CENSORED
Is this one missing something??
In a message dated Sat, 1 Dec 2001 9:07:41 AM Eastern Standard Time, MFoxy9795
writes:
>
> Some chuckles for the end of the semester. I'm rather partial to
> the Alto #8
>
> Cindy Donnell
>
> NOW FOR SOMETHING FUNNY - HAVE YOU SEEN THIS?
>
> Top Ten Reasons for Being a Soprano
>
> 10) The rest of the choir exists just to make you look good.
>
> 9) You can entertain your friends by breaking their wine glasses.
>
> 8) Can you name an opera where an alto got the man?
>
> 7) When sopranos want to sing in the shower, they know the tune.
>
> 6) It's not like you are ever going to sing the Alto part by accident
>
> 5) Great costumes -- like the hat with the horns on it.
>
> 4) How many world famous Altos can you name?
>
> 3) They give CENSORED
>
> 2) When you get tired of singing the tune, you can sing the descant
>
> 1) You can sing along with Michael Jackson.
>
>
> Top Ten Reasons for Being a Bass
>
> 10) You don't have to tighten your shorts to reach your note.
>
> 9) You don't have to worry about a woman stealing your job.
>
> 8) Or a pre-adolescent boy.
>
> 7) Action heroes are always basses. That is -- if they ever sang, they
> would sing bass.
>
> 6) You get great memorable lyrics like bop, bop, bop, bop.
>
> 5) If the singing job doesn't work out, there's always broadcasting.
>
> 4) You never need to learn to read the treble clef.
>
> 3) If you get a cold, so what.
>
> 2) For fun, you can sing at the bottom of your range and fool people
> into thinking there's an earthquake.
>
> 1) If you belch while you're singing, the audience just thinks it's part
> of the score.
>
>
> Top Ten Reasons for Being a Tenor
>
> 10) Tenors get high -- without drugs.
>
> 9) Name a musical where the Bass got the girl.
>
> 8) You can show the sopranos how it SHOULD be sung.
>
> 7) Did you ever hear of anyone paying $1000 for a ticket to see the 3
> Basses?
>
> 6) Who needs brains when you've got resonance?
>
> 5) Tenors never have to waste time looking through the self-improvement
> section of the bookstore.
>
> 4) You get to sing along with John Denver singing "Aye Calypso".
>
> 3) When you get really good at falsetto, you can make tons of money
> doing voice-overs for cartoon characters
>
> 2) Gregorian chant was practically invented for Tenors. Nobody invented
> a genre for basses.
>
> 1) You can entertain your friends by impersonating Julia Child.
>
>
> Top Ten Reasons for Being an Alto
>
> 10) You get really good at singing E flat.
>
> 9) You get to sing the same note for 12 consecutive measures.
>
> 8) You don't really need to warm up to sing 12 consecutive bars of E
> flat.
>
> 7) If the choir really sucks, it's unlikely the Altos will be blamed.
>
> 6) You have lots of time to chat during Soprano solos.
>
> 5) You get to pretend that you are better than the sopranos, because
> everybody knows that women only sing soprano so they don't have to learn
> to read music.
>
> 4) You can sometimes find part-time work singing Tenor.
>
> 3) Altos get all the great intervals.
>
> 2) When the sopranos are holding some outrageously high note at the end
> of an anthem, the altos always get the last words.
>
> 1) When the Altos miss a note, nobody gets hurt.
>
> Forwarded Message:--------------------
> Subj: [vocalist] Off: S A T B funnies
> Date Fri, 30 Nov 2001 11:00:22 PM Eastern Standard Time
> From: "Cynthia Donnell" <csdonnell@m...>
> To: "vocalist" <vocalist-temporary@yahoogroups.com>
>
> Some chuckles for the end of the semester. I'm rather partial to
> the Alto #8
>
> Cindy Donnell
>
> NOW FOR SOMETHING FUNNY - HAVE YOU SEEN THIS?
>
> Top Ten Reasons for Being a Soprano
>
> 10) The rest of the choir exists just to make you look good.
>
> 9) You can entertain your friends by breaking their wine glasses.
>
> 8) Can you name an opera where an alto got the man?
>
> 7) When sopranos want to sing in the shower, they know the tune.
>
> 6) It's not like you are ever going to sing the Alto part by accident
>
> 5) Great costumes -- like the hat with the horns on it.
>
> 4) How many world famous Altos can you name?
>
> 3) They give CENSORED
>
> 2) When you get tired of singing the tune, you can sing the descant
>
> 1) You can sing along with Michael Jackson.
>
>
> Top Ten Reasons for Being a Bass
>
> 10) You don't have to tighten your shorts to reach your note.
>
> 9) You don't have to worry about a woman stealing your job.
>
> 8) Or a pre-adolescent boy.
>
> 7) Action heroes are always basses. That is -- if they ever sang, they
> would sing bass.
>
> 6) You get great memorable lyrics like bop, bop, bop, bop.
>
> 5) If the singing job doesn't work out, there's always broadcasting.
>
> 4) You never need to learn to read the treble clef.
>
> 3) If you get a cold, so what.
>
> 2) For fun, you can sing at the bottom of your range and fool people
> into thinking there's an earthquake.
>
> 1) If you belch while you're singing, the audience just thinks it's part
> of the score.
>
>
> Top Ten Reasons for Being a Tenor
>
> 10) Tenors get high -- without drugs.
>
> 9) Name a musical where the Bass got the girl.
>
> 8) You can show the sopranos how it SHOULD be sung.
>
> 7) Did you ever hear of anyone paying $1000 for a ticket to see the 3
> Basses?
>
> 6) Who needs brains when you've got resonance?
>
> 5) Tenors never have to waste time looking through the self-improvement
> section of the bookstore.
>
> 4) You get to sing along with John Denver singing "Aye Calypso".
>
> 3) When you get really good at falsetto, you can make tons of money
> doing voice-overs for cartoon characters
>
> 2) Gregorian chant was practically invented for Tenors. Nobody invented
> a genre for basses.
>
> 1) You can entertain your friends by impersonating Julia Child.
>
>
> Top Ten Reasons for Being an Alto
>
> 10) You get really good at singing E flat.
>
> 9) You get to sing the same note for 12 consecutive measures.
>
> 8) You don't really need to warm up to sing 12 consecutive bars of E
> flat.
>
> 7) If the choir really sucks, it's unlikely the Altos will be blamed.
>
> 6) You have lots of time to chat during Soprano solos.
>
> 5) You get to pretend that you are better than the sopranos, because
> everybody knows that women only sing soprano so they don't have to learn
> to read music.
>
> 4) You can sometimes find part-time work singing Tenor.
>
> 3) Altos get all the great intervals.
>
> 2) When the sopranos are holding some outrageously high note at the end
> of an anthem, the altos always get the last words.
>
> 1) When the Altos miss a note, nobody gets hurt.
>
>
>
>
>
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