Christine Thomas wrote:
I've struggled with jealousy my whole life. I still fight it - but I
was
raised by 2 very jealous people who are always looking for unfairness in
life, and I think that has a lot to do with it.
Isn't it amazing how people almost always find what they're looking for?Insight is a powerful thing. One's recognition of a jealous nature and the desire to change it makes change possible. Speaking from my own experience, anytime I've experienced one of the so-called "negative emotions" and really gotten to the bottom of it, I've been able to move forward. The key word here is "move," rather than "stay." Is remaining in that state of mind/feeling productive? Stay as long as it takes to understand, or grieve, or process, but then, be willing to move on to the present. Anytime I've caught myself being jealous, I've realized that I was looking for a convenient person (or circumstance) to blame for why my life wasn't going as I wished it were. The blame game is an avoidance of responsibility. The inspiring stories of the late boomers on this list (and I certainly am one, too!) are testimonials to the power of being able to change and choose a particular course of action. Responsibility doesn't mean you keep beating yourself up for creating the situation. It means that, after assessing the situation and understanding the causes, you say to yourself, "OK--I understand. NOW--what am I going to do *today*? We do have the power to change, to take action, to do or feel in a new way. Is it easy? No. But wouldn't you rather make the most of the time you have, rather than wasting it on negative feelings which only hurt you and hold you back? Thanks to all who have shared so openly on this thread. I know that I've grown from reading your reflections. MaryBeth D. Smith
Coordinator of Voice/Opera
Southwest Texas State University
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