Lisa-Marie,
I wonder if perhaps lack of self-confidence rather than lack of
self-worth is what you experienced. I returned to college as a single
mother at the age of 27 and it took me almost 5 years to finish. I
couldn't take musical dictation to save my soul and a piano teacher at
the school destroyed any hope of my being able to play. The only thing
that I could do really well was sing with emotion and hear and
internalize other singers voices. I felt terribly inferior to the other
students who were fresh out of high school with long instrumental
backgrounds and plenty of choral experience to make them good
sightreaders(anoher skill I had lots of trouble with). But I did have
experience living in the real world which I think helped in my
singing(interpretively spseaking.) I chose to teach privately so I could
be home with my little boy. I'm nearly 52 now and often wonder if I
could have done something more with my singing. I guess what I'm trying
to say is that at 30 you are by no means over the hill in any way. Now
you have the maturity of understanding life more fully than any of
those"young wippersnappers." That experience will add to your singing. I
hope I made sense, besides, allowing yourself to be"consumed" by
jealousy and bitterness will only stand in your way. The only person you
can "let down" or disappoint is yourself. Think positive! Anne C.
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