I don't really get jealous. But I do often turn my negative feelings
inward and regret being too immature, too unfocussed, too lazy, and too
many other things (none good) to have decided on a singing career when I
was 17 (I talked about it a lot, but had no will-power to do much about
it). I regret this, and I will always regret it, and no amount of doing
well and enjoying singing now (in my second blush) can change that regret.
I am plagued by "if only" and I tend to really dislike the person I was
when I was younger because I wasted so much time being unfocussed and just
"being" rather than doing.
I don't let these feelings cripple me, or even depress me (much) - but I
do acknowledge that I can't escape them, so it's a waste of effort to try.
Fortunately, I do believe in reincarnation, so I have the consolation of
the possibility that I won't screw up my youth so badly in my next life.
KM
-----
Ich singe, wie der Vogel singt,
Der in den Zweigen wohnet;
Das Lied, das aus der Kehle dringt,
Ist Lohn, der reichlich lohnet.
-- J.W. von Goethe, WILHELM MEISTER
My NEIL SHICOFF Website:
http://www.radix.net/~dalila/shicoff/shicoff.html
My Website:
http://www.radix.net/~dalila/index.html
|
|  |
