1) Allow yourself to obsess for 36 more hours. Not a minute longer or shorter.
2) Strategize how to avoid a "repeat performance". I've found that I can take the edge off the worst adrenaline-induced anxiety by "pre-panicking" = about 20 minutes before I know I'm going to have to sing, I start obsessing and obsessing in a major way, to the point where I'm sweating, palpitating, dry mouthed, etc. I keep up the self-indulgent obsession until I feel my body start to "come down" from the adrenalin rush. Then I go into "deep breathing and relaxation" mode, combined with an "I don't give a s**t" attitude. The result: when I actually have to get up to sing, there isn't enough adrenalin left in my system to cause anything but a slight energetic "edge" that I'm able to use to my advantage. Another strategy: I audition only with music I truly could do in my sleep - I NEVER use music about which I have the slightest technical concern, lyrics concern, or musical concern ON THE DAY I'M AUDITIONING. (Of course, there may be days on which the same aria is "just fine" or "not possible", depending on things like "time of month", work-related stress, mistrust of the quality of the accompanist provided, etc.) NEVER "test" new music in an audition (or other high-stress situation). Do the piece in recital, concert, at a piano bar, during concerts in nursing homes, at restaurant opera nights, or at any other low-stress public venue you can think of, to get several public "airings" under your belt before taking the piece into a high-stress situation like an audition or competition.
3) Talk to your teacher IMMEDIATELY about what happened. If he/she is one iota less than totally supportive and sympathetic, get a new teacher.
4) THank your lucky stars that you didn't really care out the outcome of this particular audition. Indeed, your "failure" may have been a subconscious attempt to avoid having to accept a job you really didn't want.
5) Remind yourself frequently and repeatedly about WHY you want to sing solos in public in the first place. If it's for ANY reason other than "I love to do it", I suggest you give some serious thought to pursuing choral/ensemble singing. There is absolutely no justification for putting one's self through the effort and potentially ego-crushing torment of solo singing unless one really loves to do it.
KM ............................ NEIL SHICOFF pages http://www.radix.net/~dalila/shicoff/shicoff.html
My Own Website http://www.radix.net/~dalila/index.html
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ + To hell with life as snug as hand in glove. + + - Ho Xuan Huong + +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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