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Subject: Misheard Song Lyrics
From: "jjh"
To: vocalist
Send reply to: VOCALIST <vocalist>

It's been a rough week here, but fortunately, I picked up the book "'Scuse
Me While I Kiss the Guy, and Other Misheard Lyrics" by Gavin Edwards. I
have been laughing non-stop this evening. Here are a few of my favorites.
I realize these may date me--I totally didn't get the newer ones from groups
like Counting Crows and Public Enemy and so on--they don't play those groups
on NPR! I can't wait to share some of these with my Diction class--they're
just learning IPA in English, so they could use a good laugh!

Here are some howlers to spice up your day. Enjoy!

1. Oh give me a home were the buffalo roam, and the deer and the
cantaloupe play" (...the deer and the antelope play, from "Home on the
Range")
2. Four-legged woman/Bald-headed woman (..."More than a Woman," by the
Bee Gees)
3. Little bitty cows for you and me (...little pink houses for you and
me, from "Pink Houses," by John Cougar Mellencamp)
4. Looks like tomatoes (...looks like we made it, from "Looks Like we
Made It," by Barry Manilow)
5. It's such a feeling that, my love, I get hives/It's such a feeling
that, my love, I get high (...I can't hide, from "I Want to Hold Your Hand,"
by the Beatles)
6. Strut now, cut it out, no talking on Thanksgiving (...Strut, pout, cut
it out, no taking and no giving, from "Strut," by Sheena Easton)
7. You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille, with four hundred
children (...with four hungry children, from "Lucille," by Kenny Rogers)
8. Chug-a-lug, strawberry man (...Jungle love is drivin' me mad, from
"Jungle Love," by the Steve Miller Band)
9. She's like Fred Gwynne, in my dreams (..."She's Like the Wind," by
Patrick Swayze). This one has a very funny cartoon showing the Frankenstein
monster dreaming of a female Herman Munster!
10. Medieval woman (..."Evil Woman," by the Electric Light Orchestra).
Now I REALLY DID think they were singing "medieval woman"--apparently I've
been laboring under that delusion for years!
11. She's got electric boobs, her mom has two/She's got a lot of booze,
Samoan Sue (...she's got electric boots, a mohair suit, from "Bennie and the
Jets," by Elton John)
12. When Jupiter collides with Mars (...when Jupiter aligns with Mars,
from "Aquarius," by The 5th Dimension)
13. We'll keep on farting till the end (...we'll keep on fighting until
the end, from "We Are the Champions," by Queen)
14. Think we'll keep on turning? (...Big wheel keep on turning, from
"Proud Mary," by Ike and Tina Turner
15. Goodbye yellow brick road, with the darkened sorority house (...where
the dogs of society howl, from "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road," by Elton John)
16. Life in the Vaseline (..."Life in the fast lane," by The Eagles)
17. Climb every woman (..."I'm Every Woman," by Chaka Kahn)
18. And donuts make my brown eyes blue (..."Don't it make my brown eyes
blue," by Crystal Gayle)
19. I'm gonna make you, make you, make you malteds (...make you notice,
from "Brass in Pocket," by The Pretenders)
20. Baby I'm a warm shoe, baby I'm a neat shoe (..."Baby I'm-a want you,
baby I'm a need you," by Bread)
21. She was a state trooper (...she was a day tripper, from "Day
Tripper," by the Beatles)
22. Everybody's got a hungry horse (...everybody's got a hungry heart,
from "Hungry Heart," by Bruce Springsteen)
23. Franciscans in the U.S.A. (..."French-kissin in the U.S.A.," by
Debbie Harry)
24. I am not into health food, I add hemp to champagne (...I am into
champagne, from "Escape--The Pina Colada Song," by Rupert Holmes)
25. Jacques the monkey (..."Shock the Monkey," by Peter Gabriel)

Jana
--
Jana Holzmeier
Dept. of Music
Nebraska Wesleyan University
5000 Saint Paul Ave.
Lincoln, NE 68504
jjh-at-nebrwesleyan.edu
402-465-2284