From: Molly McLinden
Subject: before I give it all up....(long)
To: vocalist
Send reply to: VOCALIST <vocalist>


Hi list,
it is time for me to ramble. I hope you don't mind!
Ok- here is my story. I am 19, and a sophomore in
college. Vocal performance major. I am asking myself
why I picked this major lately.
I have been studying for six years. I started off as a
soprano, but I am currently singing in the correct
fach, mezzo. I think I have come a long way, and I
know what I do well and I know what I do...not so
well.
I don't expect to be a star here at my school, but I
do expect something.Like respect.
I just tried out for an opera , and a girl who
sight-read the piece after rolling out of bed got the
part. The music director is also her private teacher.I
hope that the casting was based on looks...(the other
girl was quite hefty, and I think the part called for
that..and I am slender. But who knows what it was
based on? Casting is unpredictable and often
disappointing)
The only performing I have done here was the Third
Lady in a condensed version of Magic Flute. My part
was also double cast.
My voice teacher gives me 20 minute lessons ...or
cancels them....when I should be getting an hour.
Then he yells at me when I am not 100%! I think I did
horribly at my jury today. Just before my jury,you
see, a fellow student was telling me why I didn't get
cast in the last opera. The director was discussing me
behind my back to another student. With things like
this happening in the arts world, I ask myself if it
is really worth it.
I have forgotten what it is like to perform and really
enjoy it.
I have no idea what to do. I have already transferred
here from another school. I think my next step is a
switch of a major (to something where I can make
money, like computer science). My parents say I should
think it over during semester break. It is going to be
a hard semester here this spring, seeing someone who
didn't deserve the part have fun with it...when I was
really prepared . It is going to be hard to say
goodbye to singing for good, but it looks like I have
no choice.
I know there must be a few of you out there who feel
the same way. ANY comments or e-mails would be greatly
appreciated. Before I sign off: right after my jury, I
walked over to the church where I am singing a Messiah
solo tomorrow, and I have never sounded better.
I just don't know what to think anymore. I don't know
where I am best or how to market myself. I also enjoy
doing comedic things and acting. there are lots of
possibilities......and I don't know if it is worth
thinking through and trying out all of this.
Sincerely,
Molly
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